It was quite possibly one of the worst feelings as an entrepreneur. I had been stuck in my business for 17 years, working at a regular job and running a business on the side. At the time, I was a health and wellness coach. I love coaching, but my business wasn't going anywhere. I was making a little money, but really wasn't doing what I thought I could do. People around me were doing very well, but I wasn't able to make it work. I felt very stuck. I liked part of what I was doing. But here’s what's interesting, and this is going to be a key lesson to the whole thing: Although I was stuck and thought I couldn't make it work, I stayed stuck because I felt that I couldn't change my situation.
I know a lot of you are stuck. I've heard this said often when talking to different clients. Just the feeling of being stuck is really very frustrating. So we'll start by talking about what it looks like to be stuck, what it feels like to be stuck, and how you get unstuck.
Feeling like you're stuck, whether it's in a relationship, a job, or a business, is when you feel like you're not moving or growing. When you're not growing and you're not sure why. You're doing stuff but you're not moving forward. That stuck feeling is an indication that you need to find out why it is not working. It's like if you had a stomach ache and you didn't stop to investigate why your stomach was hurting. You just keep saying, “My stomach is hurting. Why is my stomach hurting?” Instead of saying, “Maybe I should stop and investigate why it’s hurting.”
So being stuck, or that feeling of being stuck, is the “check engine” light. It’s an indication that something is not quite right. I did this for 17 years. You keep trying to make it work by doing the same thing over and over again. What do we call that? Yes, that’s right—insanity! I couldn't figure out why nothing was changing. But I wasn’t changing. That's really what stuck is. You are not moving. When your business is not growing, your life is not moving because you are not growing, that is the time to stop and say, “OK, what do I need to do differently? How can I stop being comfortable doing the same thing over again? How can I challenge myself?”
So, in order for you to get unstuck, you have to do just the opposite. You have to start making yourself uncomfortable. That's really the key. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. So the first thing I would suggest doing, or at least what I did, is start making yourself literally uncomfortable. Start doing things that you typically wouldn’t do. Go places you typically wouldn't go, talk to people you typically wouldn't talk to, eat things you wouldn't typically eat. Why not go to someplace you've never been? That's how you start getting unstuck. You start doing things that are not comfortable for you, and you have to get comfortable with that. Doing that over and over again, you'll start talking to people you wouldn't usually talk to, and possibly the conversation you never had before will be the key that unlocks everything.
You'll be amazed how the universe conspires to open your mind up with something new to get you out of your rut. That's what it is. Your brain waves are firing the same way and the pathway in your brain has created a groove, so you do things as if you're blindfolded. Like the time you got into your car, drove home, and didn’t remember any of it. You did it on autopilot. Stop that. Find another way to go home. Do something else. Park somewhere new. Go somewhere else. Eat something different and you’ll start to see how things change for you. You know, when I stopped and examined my life, I realized I didn’t want to be a health coach. I like coaching, but dude, I don't even like working out. How am I going to be a health and wellness coach helping people lose weight if I haven't handled my own weight problem issues? There was something amiss there. Then what do I like to do? That’s when I started doing new things and talking to people, and I figured it out. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And it doesn't have to be as painful as I made it. I made it 17 years of painful. But I finally stopped and got real.
Look...don't be scared to do something new or at least try something new. Make yourself uncomfortable and force yourself to grow in a new area. Even if you don't think you're going to do it forever. Just the fact that you are starting to make new grooves in your brain and fire the synapses in a new way is going to cause some new reaction, which is what you need.